Almost 15 weeks old...

Lessons learned

I didn't spend much time with babies before this July, so every aspect of motherhood has been new to me. Here are a few of my discoveries:

• Baby wearing is a miracle, but I was nowhere near smart enough to figure out how to use a Boba wrap on my newborn. I managed to get her in it somewhat comfortably a couple of times, but that was while my mama held her and I watched a YouTube tutorial over and over and over and... yeah, you get the point. My Ergo became my best friend in an instant, and thanks to some kind vlogger's wisdom, I didn't even have to buy the newborn insert -- I just rolled up a swaddle blanket and fashioned her a comfy little seat on my own.
• Pacifiers are also miraculous. This one's tough, because I swore up and down that I'd never give my baby one before she arrived, and I gasped in horror when someone said the hospital gave their baby one without their permission. But the thing is, I hadn't yet known sleep deprivation. I hadn't swaddled and changed and nursed and swaddled and changed and nursed my baby 20 times in a row, bleary-eyed and silently praying for just an hour of rest before the sun rose again, when I made that decision. So one night, in my desperation, I tried to give Ivory a pacifier... and she took it for a moment, then spit it back out. I was a mixture of emotions: jealous for a second because the only thing that had comforted her before was my breast, relieved that she was finally finding comfort from something else, and then devastated that it didn't last. I tossed it aside and forgot the whole thing until she was nearly four weeks old. In my tiredness and distress, I squeezed some milk onto a pacifier's nipple, offered it to my screaming daughter, and... it stayed. I regained a lot of my sanity that night. To you mamas who don't cave under pressure about this, you seriously deserve medals. I couldn't do what you do.
• Cloth diapering is easy and awesome. I had my doubts, particularly right after Ivory was born and all I kept thinking was, "What have I committed myself to??" She was three days old and we were down to one newborn diaper left over from the hospital. We hadn't bought any disposables, and I started to panic. On top of everything else, I was supposed to do what? Off we went to Meijer, where I marched up to the diaper aisle, forgetting all of my concerns about the environment and chemicals and diaper rash and blowouts, determined to buy another pack of Pampers. It's no exaggeration to say that my vision was impaired from lack of sleep; while she was doing fine resting away, I had been laying in bed listening for her breathing all night long. When I saw the price on the diapers, though, I jumped; I saw hundreds of lattes and fancy dinners and house projects and other "extras" fading into oblivion, and I felt a surge of determination. We left the store empty-handed, and more than twelve weeks later, Ivory has still not worn another disposable diaper -- nor has she had any diaper rash or blowouts. I do a load of diaper laundry every 3-4 days. No complaints whatsoever.

I'll leave you with a picture of me and Ivory from a walk this afternoon: